01 / Prepare

Write a small note before you meet.

Describe the situation in a few sentences, name the part that is unclear, and note anything already tried. Add what would make the conversation useful: a clearer question, another perspective, an option to test, or a specific decision to examine.

Send or share only what both people need for the conversation. Avoid turning preparation into a polished presentation. A rough, honest account leaves more room to think together.

02 / Agree

Give the session a shared focus.

At the beginning, check the available time and ask what the learner wants to leave with. If several topics appear, choose one to start with and decide how the others will be handled.

Confirm how notes will be used and whether anything is outside the scope of the relationship. Make the focus explicit enough that either person can notice when the conversation has moved away from it.

03 / Explore

Understand the situation before narrowing the answer.

Ask what happened, what was observed, what has been tried, and what remains uncertain. Reflect back the main point in your own words and invite correction. Distinguish a reported event from the meaning attached to it.

When sharing experience, explain the context and ask how closely it resembles the learner’s situation. Keep more than one possible approach visible long enough to compare their assumptions and practical consequences.

04 / Choose

Turn the discussion into one visible action.

Ask what the learner wants to try next. Make the action concrete enough to recognize: draft a question, arrange a conversation, compare two examples, or test a small change. Clarify what is within their control and what depends on someone else.

Name what they will look for after taking the action. An experiment can be useful even when it does not produce the hoped-for result, provided it gives information that helps the next decision.

05 / Review

Close with a short account of what changed.

Ask the learner to summarize the useful insight and the next step in their own words. Check whether the original question has been answered, reframed, or left open with a clearer way to investigate it.

If there will be another session, agree on what to bring back. At the next conversation, review what happened without treating the action as a test of commitment. Use the new information to decide what the relationship needs next.